As you feel?
                Ser Guapos

The art of intimacy, in love with someone else, how to save your couple, keep your "marriage" alive
You have been in couple for a while, things aren't as exciting as they once were, you "find yourself" in a relationship with someone other than your husband... what do you do?. 

Three things...

1. You walk away from your new found attraction. You stop every form of communication. Not a phone call, not a lunch, not an email. Not so much as a fantasy. Nothing!

2. You share your concerns with your husband and together decide to do whatever you can to improve the marriage. You go to counseling, you recommit, you dedicate your time, energy, and love to your marriage partner. You do anything and everything possible to keep your family together.

3. You reevaluate yourself. You remind yourself what is important in your life. You examine the consequences of divorce on your life. You reflect on your behavior, your honesty, your sense of morality. You read up on the dynamics of romance, attachment, and the craziness of attraction.

If after a year or so of doing everything possible to have a healthy relationship, you still find your marriage unbearable, if after giving your marriage your very best in every area possible, if after

devoting your life to your family, you decide that your family will be healthier and happier separated, and divorce is the only possible way to have a decent life, you get a divorce.

After the divorce is final, you give yourself a year or so to adjust, grieve, and process your experience.

There are obviously times when divorce is the only solution to an unhappy, abusive, or degrading marriage. Every marriage may not be able to be saved.

But many marriages can be healed with effort and care, and the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.

Many people break up their families believing someone else will bring them the happiness and excitement they no longer feel in their marriage. They see someone who looks more attractive, who has more money, or who is enticing or exciting in some way.

The reality is, marriage is not about someone else bringing us happiness and excitement, nor is it about money or a body, or another filling our emptiness and loneliness.

Marriage is about, (among other things), dedication, care, nurturing, forgiveness, investment, concern, work, creativity, sacrifice, compromise, and love. Marriage is not something that once the ceremony takes place, just goes on forever bringing everyone eternal happiness.

A successful marriage requires commitment. It requires each partner remain faithful. Looking to someone other than your boyfriend, to get that romance back in your life is not a decent, healthy, emotionally mature way to manage life.

If you are in a situation where your marriage is at stake because of your infidelity, please reevaluate. Please reconsider the choices you are making. Please do what you can to be honorable and decent.

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